6 02 2015

A truly beautiful, awesome love story written no other then my dearest cousin David Sebastian.In fact it brought tears rolling down my cheeks while reading his write up that my cousin sent to me.Still knowing that there are still genuine men out there who do stand by their wives in good times and in bad times and have never abandon them in time when they needed their spouse to be with them through the storms that they are in. So I decided to share this article on my blog. Do take time to read this beautiful article my beloved ones. jasmine.c

Hi, my name is David Sebastian. I come from the Daniel’s  Generation family. I grew up in a big family of 5 sisters and 3 brothers. I am one of a twin actually and all my brothers and sisters eventually grew up and all went their separate ways. This is a true story about me actually and how I have lived my life until now.

David SebastianAt the  age of 20 I enlisted myself in the Arm Forces and started out as a recruit based in Port Dickson. It was a tough training of all sorts and I finally finished my training in 6 months. After that I was posted to Tawau, Sabah where I served in the 3rd Battalion Renjer Regiment. I can say that I enjoyed my life in the Arm Forces as a trained soldier and as part and parcel of a trained soldier I was assigned to various missions in and around Malaysia, Sabah and Sarawak.

On my return home from a mission at the border after three months, physically I was in a mess with beard on my face and I looked kind of dirty, well what can one say after a three month stint in the jungles!  As the Mercedes Benz trucks dropped us off at the “padang kawad” (parade field) inside our garrison in Terendak Camp in Malacca, I walked to my platoon and sat on my bed. There was no mattress there only the spring and that was ok to me. As I sat on my bed thinking about what to do next, I noticed a magazine like book inside a waste paper basket.  Curiosity got the best of me and I got up, walked over to the waste paper basket and picked up the magazine. Well, what do you know! It was a URTV magazine and I had not seen one in ages. I flipped open the pages until I came across a Pen Pal column and I noticed one particular name that caught my attention.Aha! Here it is all where it begun.

After finishing all my laundry and keeping my weapon back in the armory, I was a bit relaxed and later after dinner at night I decided to pen a letter to this person whom I noticed earlier in the URTV magazine. Her name appeared as “Audrey Mary Anthony”. I was thinking what an awesome name that was, maybe the person was awesome too or kind off fancy I suppose. I wrote my first ever letter to this person. Never in my 25 years of living at that time did I ever make any attempt to find a girl or even think of getting a girlfriend. This sort of thinking never crossed my mind. When most guys or males at my age were in a steady relationship or even had wives, I was a sort of person who always wanted adventure and I loved playing the guitar, loved guns, loved the camp life, army trucks, jet fighters and just looking at the jungles, the blue skies, but never at  women! What a strange guy am I!

I finally got down to penning a letter and believe me, that took some guts after a bottle of beer and I sent it out the following day. After about three weeks I got a reply and it was from Penang! Boy my body was shivering. I slowly opened up the letter and there for the very first time, this person who called herself Audrey Mary Anthony replied and was speaking to me in my first ever letter. I did not believe and told myself, “ Are you kidding me” me David Sebastian receiving a letter from a person , a girl…. “Golly Miss Molly”.

Well I was very excited to get to know Audrey Mary and I wrote again a few times and she replied too. When December came it was time for Christmas and I was requested to go on Christmas leave. When I reached home where my home was in Penang, I took my brothers bike and made a surprise visit to Audrey’s house. When I found her place of stay somewhere at Kampong Jawa nearby Gama shopping complex in the town area, the family got a shock. They thought I was an escaped convict because I looked like one, so dark due to sun burn and my hair was like G.I Joe! Oh my!

Anyway I introduced myself. Audrey sister “Carol” was a bit friendly whereas Audrey ran off to hide. After a while of chit chatting with the family then only did Audrey appear and I noticed that her leg was in plaster of Paris. I enquired, what happened, and she replied that a car ran over her foot thus spraining it. Anyway my holiday was a nice one as I felt nice and finally having to break the ice. Words led to feelings and feelings led to love and only after about five years of knowing her I finally proposed to her. We were married on the 21st of June 1986 and after the wedding I took her off to Kuala Lumpur where we stayed in Jalan Ipoh. After about a year later when I had finished my contract with the Army, I decided to quit and return back to Penang.

In 1991 my 1st son Brian was born and consequently in 1994 my 2nd son Gideon was born and in 1996, my 3rd son, Gabriel was born. All the while after my marriage in 1986, I was always getting myself involved in the church and music was part of my life. My wife, my boys and myself, enjoyed the life we had. We were having a good family relationship. Then something happened in 1997 after my 3rd son who was 1 year old  at that time. Some jealous person a woman of course, told my wife bad things about me behind my back. My wife, just had to listen to her nonsense and one day she questioned me. She said, in the army did you do this and this and this, meaning that – did you date girls, go out with girls and did things to girls!  I told her honestly, that even before our marriage, that I was a very childish kind of person and was very afraid of girls. Girls were never on my mind, and that was the very reason I never got married at all until I met her.

After this incident, my wife became a bit paranoia and sort of never trusted me.  Then slowly she seemed to slip into another world of her own and she became quiet. Before this incident, both my wife and I were working adults, she being an accounts clerk and myself a security supervisor in a big American establishment. But after this sabotage on our lives and marriage, our marriage was never the same again and everything went downhill. My wife became depressed after that and needed medical attention. I took her to a private Dr for some time but it was expensive and after a while the Dr. told me to go to the Gen. Hosp. My wife’s treatment went on from the year 1997 until she passed away on the 22nd March 2013.We were married for 27 years but out of that, 17 years I was sleeping outside in the hall on the couch alone. I respected my wife’s decision in not sleeping in the room together with her.

Marriage 10For the last 17 years of life it became a living hell for me and my kids. There were times that I thought how I wish I never got married, but that never happened.  I loved my wife very much from day one since I saw her until the very end. I did not give up. There were times she was so depressed that she screamed like a person in a horror movie and threw plates at me. She broke all the glass ware in the house, so I decided to buy plastic plate’s after that, so that they could not break. At times she had her periods and she just stood there waiting for me to come home and she will cry, not knowing what to do. I saw her plight, took her to the bathroom and bathed her, cleaned her up, put on tampons for her and treated her like a baby. Honestly speaking, I enjoyed every moment of it and I never at all thought that I would be doing this but I did it. Then I realized, it’s not a big deal. Why not, after all, since I took an oath in the marriage contract, for better or for worst, in good times and in bad times, so I had to do it, because I took an oath and I am keeping to it. I fed her many times as she just could not lift her hands due to medication and she felt so weak and so useless.

But sad to say that during this whole 17 years, none of my family members came and visited me or my family at all. It was sad in fact but I believe that God was with me through all this 17 years of trials through the storms that I went through. God carried me through the storms and made me to do all the impossible things that I thought that I could not do. I had a few very close friends that encouraged me and gave me hope.I believe that they were in fact God sent friends that God put along my path.

I made up my mind, that from then on, I will take on the role of a Mother and Father, housekeeper, cooking the food, washing the dishes,the laundry and doing the groceries as well. It all donned on me and I made it my choice to do it all with love. I realized that only Love could make me do all those things and slowly and steadily. I believe God from heaven saw what I was doing and he gave me the wisdom, strength and courage to go through all that I was doing and I began to do it without complaining. My wife Mary passed away on the 22nd March 2013, after 17 years of depression.

I never looked back and thought that it was impossible. It was God who made the impossible, possible because he saw I loved my wife in spite of what she had gone through and was suffering, and he saw me through. One week before my wife passed away,she asked me to sleep beside her and she held my hands to her chest and told me,”David, you are a good man!” and said she was sorry. I told her, not to worry about it, because I never at all hated her weakness, but instead I grew to love her more instead through all those years of pain. That love kept the family together and today my three boys are all grown up, Gabriel the youngest is now 19, Gideon is 21 and Brian now 23.

David Sebastian 2I thank God from heaven for this learning process and the patience and endurance because he made me finish what I had started and it felt good. A small gentle advice to all the men out there. If you say that you love your wife, stay and live with her no matter in what situation you both are in. Marriage is never ever a bed of Roses!When you say that you Love your wife, you are also to love her in her weaknesses no matter what they are. You married her because you loved her for a reason that touched your heart. You saw something beautiful and special within her at that time that attracted you to her and made you to fall in love with her.You wanted her so badly to be married to you.When you take hold of a woman’s hand in marriage you are taking the responsibility as a man to love and cherish, to have and to hold, to stand by her side no matter what comes by,in good times and in bad times, in sickness and in health, for richer for poorer, to defend her at all times and to be responsible to hold her hand till the end of her life. Till death only do you part  from your better half!  All Praises be to God!

By :

Sebastian Deveraj M Doraisamy   ( AKA – David Sebastian )

5th February 2015.




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